This recipe is extremely fast to make. I'm certain I could go from zero to eating in under 10 minutes if needed, although I'm usually listening to music and thinking while cooking.

This recipe is also macro-complete¹. Good amount of carbs, fat, fiber, and a decent amount of protein if you aren't trying to build muscle.

I wanna disclose before we move any further, I do not use any of these exact ingredient measurements. The measurements are more for calculating real cost and nutrition numbers. I cook off vibes, adjusting so it's just how I want it on any given day, since my preferences do vary.

I like using olive oil for the frying section. The flavor is good and it adds even more fat, which is great.

Ingredients & Nutrition

Instructions

1. Rinse and drain cannellini beans, if you half-ass this it'll be soggier, I'm often OK with that personally, place the beans in a 3 L mixing bowl
2. Add between one and two big spoons of sour cream (I like to reuse this spoon as the mixing spoon seen in Steps 5/7/9 later)
3. Add some cheese, I just pour some in until it looks good, you need some intuition for how much will be good after it's mixed in, but really you can go plenty high or low here and it won't ruin anything from an experiential point of view
4. Add dry-works, i.e. spices, to taste~
5. Mix a bit
6. For spinach, whether it's worth cutting first depends on how much you intend to add, as whole leaves take up a significantly higher volume. Once you have whatever sum of whole or cut spinach, add that to the bowl
7. Mix until satisfied
8. Place a medium 12-inch skillet on your stove burner of choice, add olive oil, set temp to medium-low depending on your stove, the bad outcome here is smoking oil or burning tortillas, which I often do by accident, so err lower to avoid that
9. Use your mixing spoon (or utensil of choice, I don't judge) to portion some of the mixture onto half of a tortilla, then fold the tortilla in half and place it in the pan
10. Wait a few minutes, until either it's plenty hot or the tortilla starts browning / burning further than desired, probably 3-5 minutes
11. Repeat steps 9/10 until you are out of filling

Pro tip: the mix is easy to make and keep in the fridge with some saran wrap over the bowl for a quick meal later!

Bottom line: Swoon is

“an album so exhaustedly smooth it almost blends together.”

I first listened to the Silversun Pickups album Swoon after I was recommended the band by a friend on Discord. I didn't initially love the whole album, however I immediately fell in love with Catch & Release¹, and this was my gateway to the rest of the album over time.

It took me until last December to start listening through the rest of their discography in-depth. As I had liked Swoon so much, I never felt the need. From Pikul and Carnavas I found a great well of emotion. From Physical Thrills a melancholic ever-after.

Swoon is an album so exhaustedly smooth it almost blends together. It took me dozens or hundreds of listens to really appreciate each song, and I still haven't individually loved all of them. My favorites are Catch & Release, Sort Of, The Royal We, It's Nice to Know You Work Alone, Panic Switch of course- However none of these have that same raw feeling as Kissing Families, Well Thought Out Twinkles, or Rusted Wheel. The whole album feels like it's from someone a few years after they felt everything, when intensity has dried out overnight. When the feelings being how they are becomes a matter of fact. Brian Aubert felt all this through his 20s and finally got to write the songs on those feelings he'd wanted. By the time we get to Swoon, he's still that guy, but he's in his 30s, it's turned from gut-wrenching reality into landscape of the days after.

If Swoon is anguish turned into landscape, then Pikul and Carnavas are thrashing that I think it'd be impossible to listen to forever without becoming the type of strung out, sleepless person, capable of writing Panic Attack.

The heights of yearning found in Kissing Families and Well Thought Out Twinkles are never reached again at such volume. The closest we ever come is well after life has retracted into death and become something else, something weirder. Songs like Alone on a Hill and Hereafter are expressions of the yearning when time has passed and you've been replaced with someone who wakes up with 10hr of sleep on a Saturday, someone we all with these longings have to become eventually if we're to keep getting up in the morning.

Physical Thrills is an album which has been through the maelstrom of experience for long enough that a lot of it doesn't make it past the visual cortex. Anyone who spends enough time under the attack of endless meaningless experience, when narratives have been picked up, told, believed, and broken again and again so many times that the pattern seeking parts of the brain start to return ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emoticons when queried, eventually concludes some variation on "the only thing that matters is the connections I felt for something along the way". Physical Thrills understands this. Much the same as the anime Flip Flappers.

When I play Swoon the sky² cycles through colors fractalizing into shapes until it's a soft pink static. Straight edges bend together and towards themselves until my world is only halls of fun-house selves and all structure is lost. And when the album ends shape returns through the silence of a fire engine in the distance.

I believe in the power of running.

I literally cannot conceptualize why or how anyone who intends to do literally anything of relevance in their life could ever justify not running

— Me, while running across the Golden Gate bridge

If you don't run everyday how will you know when your will is growing weak? If you are not someone for whom >= 15 minutes a day of zone >= 3 cardio is just matter of fact, how do you expect to ever do any of the actually hard things in life?

Will you delay doing those dishes?
Will you second guess sending that email?
Will you tell your crush how you feel, now? (or 20 years later?)
Will you see your real self in the mirror?

Running is a good litmus-test because, at least for me, it's a pretty direct measure of my will power on any given day. Only 3km can feel hard on a bad day, and even terribly out of shape, effortless on a good day.

If you are suffering from a will power drought, the answer is not a scarcity mindset. This will only lead to a self-reinforcing cycle. Your animal brain evolved for an environment long past, it will often lie to you, do not listen when it does.

On June 13th '26 I ran 12km halfway across San Francisco and then across the Golden Gate bridge. When I'd finally reached the bridge, I was listening to Gothic Lolita Propaganda by Yousei Teikoku.

Staring down into the water as the sun set, I thought about falling into a gas giant.

At North Vista Point I purchased a carcinogenic dog from a street vendor and went to stare off at the San Francisco skyline while consuming it. The wind was at my back, my hair had long gone rats-nest from humidity and being the length where it's never quite receptive enough to a hair band, as I scarfed down that carcinogenic dog, mustard<->mayonnaise ended up in my hair and across my face as my hair whipped every which way.

I want us all to fight and bleed like we're going to die tomorrow. I want the beer to flow like water. I want every day a microcosm of existence.

Transcription, Compilation, and Deployment

Pages are transcribed in the markup language org. I could talk about all the features of org I like, however that is another whole post and inextricably tied to why I like emacs in general. It is the language of my notes, and thus natural. These org documents are compiled via a posix shell script using pandoc. The script generates the footer and passes it to pandoc. Once org files have been compiled to html, hrefs are patched via sed. Deployment is achieved by rsync-ing the target directory to my server.

Thoughts

The quality of an abstraction can be measured by its compositionality. An abstraction exhibiting compositionality can be applied to a superset of the problems it was designed to solve. To compose is to program.

The command-line is a classic example of compositionality, having survived since CTSS was developed at MIT in '61. An abstraction so ubiquitous its now passed into the realm of paradigm¹.

Pandoc is a good abstraction over document formats. I believe there is a high probability that future problems with this site will be susceptible to a composition which includes Pandoc. For example, more code-oriented writing, Pandoc supports codeblock syntax highlighting as shown:

unsigned NetbufferChecksum(void) {
  unsigned c;
  int i, l;

  c = 0x1234567;

  // FIXME -endianess?
#ifdef NORMALUNIX
  return 0; // byte order problems
#endif

  l = (NetbufferSize() - (int)&(((doomdata_t *)0)->retransmitfrom)) / 4;
  for (i = 0; i < l; i++)
    c += ((unsigned *)&netbuffer->retransmitfrom)[i] * (i + 1);

  return c & NCMD_CHECKSUM;
}

// -- John Carmack, Doom '93

Often when compositionality is eschewed it is for short term programmer ease², instead of composing simple programs we configure complex systems. Configuration based systems are forced to anticipate every problem the user will have. The delineation between composition and configuration isn't always obvious, I define it by whether the tool is prescriptivist or descriptivist about your problems.

My emacs configuration is more composition than configuration, a set of programs written by myself and others composed together to solve a set of problems I have while using the computer. Contrast this with the way static site generators are often configured, where if you one day need to write latex in an article and have it rendered, if the system doesn't already support that things will be difficult. You may even give up on writing that maths post all together, in favor of letting the system describe what your problem is.

Future Directions

With usage I expect the patterns I actually write in will make abstractions past the per-document compilation paradigm obvious. Whether this looks like appending "posts" to be displayed in reverse chronological ordering, or a more graph oriented wiki system, is currently unclear.

A similar system consistent with my tastes here is hakyll, which I will likely try at some point. However currently this serves my priority of having something exist at all, and ultimately these concerns are primarily only relevant to me, currently the only engineer tasked with maintaining this website.

My favorite band is The Silversun Pickups. I would suggest you start with their album Swoon. Otherwise, here's an unordered non-exhaustive list of some of my favorite songs, constrained by only allowing a single occurance for each artist.

Without further ado

• Kissing Families, Silversun Pickups
• The Biggest Lie, Elliot Smith
• Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac
• Wait, Take That
• Chip, The Real McKenzies
• The Ghost, Bayside
• Оно выделяло тепло, AIGEL
• At Doom's Gate, Doom (1993) OST
• Darwinism, Halsey
• Kill V. Maim, Grimes
• purgatory origami, Mixed Matches
• Ravestar, Funeral
• Darkness, Sweet Trip
• Я Тебя Не Отдам, Serebro / DJ SPIZDIL (hardstyle mix) / eto (nxc edit) link
• Otherside, Red Hot Chili Peppers
• Personal Jesus (2006 Big Band Version), Richard Cheese
• This Love Is Over, Ray LaMontagne
• blindfold, Lucas Lex
• Numb, Linkin Park (Meteora is a good album OK)
• Trapped, Boards of Canada
• Damaged Goods, Yeasayer
• Alberto Balsalm, Aphex Twin
• Concept 1, Kodomo
• Codex 5 English, Kattenmatte link
• Confused Porn, infinite bisous
• kong.swtwrd [219], travongle
• Hacker, Death Grips
• Starless, King Crimson
• Maximum Profit, Gloria Tells
• Say You Will, Kanye West
• I'm On Fire, Soccer Mommy
• 500 Miles, Inside Llewyn Davis ST
• Endless Love, DVRST
• Uprising, Muse
• Cannibal Queen, Miniature Tigers